Every so often, a Facebook link with a title like “10 Things To NEVER Ask A Radio Personality” will float through my timeline and it irks me a little bit. As someone in that industry, I’d rather be asked about my job than, say, my preferred deodorant scent or most traumatic Leafs-related collapse.
With that in mind, I thought I’d tackle a few questions I get asked from time to time.
Q: What kind of music do you play?
A: Classic rock. Other stuff, too, but maybe you have an important meeting to get to. I don’t want to keep you here on this chilly side street all afternoon.
Q: Like Led Zeppelin and that sort of thing?
A: Actually, stuff like Pearl Jam and The Tragically Hip is in there these days, too. I know! In a stunning turn of events, it ends up we’re not 21 anymore! Please consult your birth certificate for confirmation!
Q: Do you pick what songs get played?
A: I don’t and that’s probably for the best. If I had the ability to broadcast whatever tune I wanted at a given moment to thousands of people, you’d be hearing 12-minute live versions of Nautical Disaster, the Bob Clute Pontiac jingle, Hulk Hogan’s entrance music and my daughter’s Magic School Bus theme song request.
Q: Must be cool to just talk for a living, eh?
A: Is that all you think I do? Did it ever occur to you that I also adjust my volume levels, Roll Up The Rim, and chuckle at Matthew McConaughey Internet memes — sometimes all within the same day?!
Q: How did you get this job?
A: I went to school for it as a “mature” student. Yep, while some of my classmates were arriving in the maternity ward, I was “mature” enough to be seeing my first Tragically Hip show.
Q: School for radio? Seriously? Uhhh “¦ what did they teach you?
A: You’re picturing classes titled “Non-Stop Rock Blocks Of The 20th Century” and Johnny Fever from WKRP doing a PowerPoint presentation about how the letter E is five syllables, aren’t you? Let’s just go with that, actually.
Q: Can I go now? I’m really starting to get cold.
A: Wait! WAIT! We need to Instagram this or something!
Ben McLean is a husband, a father, and hopes you’ll remind him about Valentine’s Day if you see him on the street. Thanks. He can be heard evenings and weekends on 96.3 Big FM and reached at email@example.com
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